The Dusty Tome of D&D Stories: Chapter Twelve

M is for MAILBOX

I am kind of throwing around the idea of doing a podcast or short youtube videos with my friday group. It seems like there's a million podcasts out there, so it feels like that might not be worth it. The youtube thing might be fun but it seems like quite a bit of work.

I just feel like if you hear me talk, you will "get" me better. Plus, my friend who plays in the friday game is really funny and I think we could create some good stuff. She's the one who seduced the bad guy way back when. If any of you have any insight on these kind of things feel free to let me know.

Speaking of way back when, Dark Vader had his way with me from the years 2000 to 2007. But there was a young jedi upstart named Mike Mearls who blew up Vader's USS Star Destroyer and rescued my universe with the tactical combat-oriented 4th edition of Dungeons and Dragons.

I built new groups through backbreaking labor. I ran games in a game store on Mondays and Wednesdays, scratching and clawing, begging and pleading to fill the table. There was actually a session that I ran with one, count him, one player.

Some of these people that were met in the game store were, well, eccentric. Let me tell you about....

The Bad Kids
 

Dude, the D&D Drink is MOUNTAIN DEW

There were a few tables of Encounters games going in the store at the same time. One table was filled by a group of guys who went to high school together, and they were best buddies. They didn't know much about the game, they were exceptionally rowdy, and they had a real fondness for touching and "caressing" each other. They also rode around in their leaders' car, a dude with a beat up honda covered in caution tape.

I ended up running a short campaign for them (I don't even remember how this happened). It was the Sceptre Tower of Spellguard, a Forgotten Realms module where the heroes are free to explore a large section of ruins. It was kind of cool - better than Keep on the Shadowfell, in my opinion.

They were so out of control that there were a number of sessions where I almost got up and left. I had to scold them and reign them in every week.

It all finally boiled over when a girl who had some issues sat in to play with us one week. She was drinking something from a paper bag. What was it? Codeine. She was drinking it like it was soda.

It looked just like this

Our boys were exceptionally rowdy. They played a game of  "Look What I've Got". What was it? Why, a massive bag of weed! It is plopped on the table. Mind you, we are sitting in the middle of a mall hallway where customers occasionally would walk by.

Now, the security guard at the time was always trying to sell me weed, so I knew he wouldn't care (This man is now headed to the police academy...). But if a patron of the mall saw this and was offended, obviously there will be problems. I scolded them and told them to put it away.

The codeine girl got more and more anxious as the session wore on. She was naturally edgy. She once accosted me in the store, weeping because she had just gotten into a fight with somebody at Walmart. The guys were always screwing each others' characters over. Well, when they deserted her in the middle of a combat, she was mighty upset and things got awkward. She was on the verge of an outburst.

One of them had an idea to lighten the mood. He wanted to play "Look What I've Got". He reached into his bag, and plopped a massive item onto the table.

You know what it was? A MAILBOX. Torn off the post from somebody's house. How did he get it? Why was it in his bag? I have no idea. The table exploded with laughter and surprise. They got up and ran around flailing their arms like this was the funniest thing they'd ever seen. I mean, literally running down the hall of the mall, screaming, jumping up and down.

I was disgusted and I was done with The Bad Kids. I told them so, and I ended the game for good right then.

They felt bad. I still see some of them now and then. They are a few years older and much more mature now. Codeine Girl seems to have gotten her stuff together and apparently has a baby. I always wanted to know her story but never found out. 

They loved my game and they really liked me. While I wouldn't do it again, I'm glad I ran that game for them. I learned a lot about younger people. I always remember them in slow motion, fondling each other, giggling and running around waving their arms like kermit the frog.