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Monday, March 27, 2017

Dungeons & Dragons - A Guide to Tales From the Yawning Portal

This guide will hopefully help DMs prepare and flesh out the adventures in Tales From the Yawning Portal. This is a work in progress. For the next week or two I'll be adding to this as I go through the book.

If you have any links pertaining to this book like DMs Guild products - maps for white plume, etc, feel free to send them to me and I'll add them to the list.


Buy Tales From the Yawning Portal here.

The 4e Against the Giants has really great Mike Schley maps.

Steading of the Hill Giant Chief
Warrens of the Stone Giant Thane - A new adventure in the series by Chris Perkins!
Glacial Rift of the Frost Giant Jarl
Hall of the Fire Giant King

Undermountain Products:

Expedition to Undermountain
Halaster's Lost Apprentice
The Halls of Undermountain

List of Adventures by Level

This is the level each character should be when they start the adventure.
  • (lvl 1) The Sunless Citadel
  • (lvl 3) Forge of Fury
  • (lvl 5) Hidden Shrine of Tamoachan
  • (lvl 8) White Plume Mountain
  • (lvl 9) Dead in Thay
  • (lvl 11) Against the Giants
  • ("high level") Tomb of Horrors
It doesn't give a level for Tomb of Horrors. It says: "Only high level characters stand a chance of surviving..."

Adventure Anthology

Unlike the other adventure books, this one doesn't have a single, long story line. This is a collection of classic D&D adventures updated to 5th edition rules.

You could link them together. It might take a bit of work, but we can make that happen.

Undermountain: It might be fun to try to place these adventures in Undermountain, the mega-dungeon connected to the Yawning Portal. That way, your group can stay at the Yawning Portal and we can make a whole campaign out of this.

Dungeon Crawl-y: Just keep in mind that most of these adventures are dungeon crawls. There's not a lot of roleplaying and social interaction. They’re pretty linear. There is a lot of wackiness and puzzle-solving, which is a lot of fun.

Character Backgrounds

Linking characters to things in the adventures can get the players more into it. I’ll add to this list as we go through the book.

Downshadow: The character lived or grew up in the poverty-stricken shanty town of Downshadow, a community of vagabonds actually located in Undermountain.

(page 5) Chapter 1 - The Yawning Portal

The book starts off with a few pages about the tavern known as The Yawning Portal.

There is a great, detailed Yawning Portal page from 3rd edition right here.

And then there's really great, official flavor for going down the well and graffiti you might find down there right here.

The Forgotten Realms Wiki has a very nice summary of the details in the Yawning Portal. It looks like they haven't updated it to the newer editions, but it gives you a nice starting point.

Essential Information: There's a few main details to know:
  • Dungeon Entrance: This inn contains a 40-foot wide well with a low wall inside the main tavern. The well leads to the legendary dungeon of Undermountain.
  • Immortal Owner: The bartender/owner is a retired adventurer named Durnan who has lived for hundreds of years. He was one of the first people to explore Undermountain and survive.
  • Entrance Fee: The heroes will be charged 1 gp each to be lowered into the well. They will also be charged 1 gp each to come out. Durnan will not let people up if they don't pay.
How Deep is the Well? 140 feet. If you fall, that's 14d6. Not good!

Getting Lowered Down: There is a large winch-and-pulley contraption that controls a thick rope with stirrups. The adventurers put their feet in the stirrups and are lowered down.

Getting Out: A bucket will be lowered down. The heroes must put their gold in it before they will be let up.

Patrons Gamble on You: The people in the bar like to bet on whether or not adventurers will survive. When someone pays to enter the well, the patrons cheer, share rounds of drinks and give the adventurers a going-away party.

Secret Entrance: There's actually another means of entry into Undermountain in the cellar of the Yawning Portal. It is a steeply-sloping hallway that leads to a cistern, a staircase, and a well shaft that has its own bucket, winch and rope. Durnan himself doesn't know it is there.

Map: There is a sweet poster map of the Yawning Portal that comes with the 4e Halls of Undermountain book. It’s on amazon now for $15. I think it is worth it if you’re going to use the inn a lot.

There is some great flavor text describing the tavern in Halaster's Lost Apprentice that you can use:

“The warm atmosphere of the Yawning Portal tavern offers a blessed relief from the bitter winter chill outside. Here, pipesmoke and the scent of spiced wine mingle with dozens of dialogues bleeding into one, while the snowy world lies trapped outside the heavily fogged glass.

In the midst of the folk talking and dancing is a wide circular well lit by everburning torches: the eponymous Yawning Portal, which, the legend holds, is an entrance to Undermountain, the legendary dungeon.

Intent on adventure—whether for sheer thrills or for matters material and financial—you settle into the smoky common room, looking about for a wealthy patron or a rumor of treasure to be found.”

There is also flavor text for being lowered down into the well:

“The staff of the Yawning Portal straps you one-by-one into a harness attached to a winch and pulley, then lowers you through the great well into the gloom of Downshadow, the shallowest depth of Undermountain. You journey down, trying hard not to think too much about the creaking old leather or the straining ropes.

Finally, it is over and your feet touch cool, wet stone. Before nerves can get the better of you, you wrench the harnesses free and tug on the ropes to signal them to be raised.

NPCs: I dug up some NPCs from old products you can use to flesh out the tavern.

Durnan the Sixth: Descendant of Durnan. He is practical and doesn't tolerate violence.
Kelsie: Durnan the Sixth's wife. She is a "pleasant-faced woman" whose mother was a cook at the Yawning Protal.
Kids: They have 9 kids, the oldest of which is Durnan the Seventh.

Endroth Knag: Member of the city watch being pressured to retire. He ponders unresolved cases as he sips ale.

The White Lady: An elderly elf wearing plain white robes. She comes in every night and whispers cryptic statements over and over. 

Brother Sepulcher: A bald priest who wears grey robes and long, white gloves who likes to stare at a skull he keeps with him. He worships Jergal, the exarch of proper burial. Brother Sepulcher likes to record the name and description of each person who enters Undermountain.

Old Stannoc: An elderly halfling who is a gambler and odds maker. He tries to evaluate each adventurer before they go down so he can set proper odds.

Downshadow: There is actually a community of people who live in Undermountain. They are "coin-shy" and down on their luck. They have a shanty town of about 200 people.

There are some shady people down there, including a doppleganger and thugs who keep a pet giant scorpion on a chain.

(page 9) Chapter 1 - The Sunless Citadel

The story goes like this:
  • The Gulthias Tree creates two apples per year: One heals, and one kills.
  • The tree is in a ruined place called The Sunless Citadel.
  • To get to it, the group has to pass through an area where kobolds and goblins are at war.
  • The heroes find the hidden grove and must deal with the Gulthias Tree, which is evil and producing evil creatures..
Mapping: The adventure suggests having a player draw a map as they play, listening to your descriptions. I have never seen this done well. I'm not saying it can't be done, I'm just saying it is hard.

It slows the game down in a big way and it is very hard to describe certain areas. It can be frustrating if the player gets confused and the map gets all messed up.

You might want to pre-make a player's map that doesn't show secret doors or anything like that. You can cut it up into pieces or cover it with something and reveal it to the players as they explore.

Origin of Gulthias: Gulthias was a vampire. There's a nice summation of his backstory on page 31 of the monster manual.

(50 gp) The Magic Apple: A red apple of perfect hue. It heals those who suffer from any disease or other ailment.

Resting: If the heroes rest in the citadel, the monsters move around and reinforce cleared rooms. You might want to note the important rooms that they'd want guarded ahead of time.

Treasure: Each kobold and goblin has 2d10 silver. You could just say it's 10 silver to speed things up.

Ambush at Night: On their way to the citadel, if the heroes rest for the night, they'll be attacked by twig blights (MM page 32).

Dwarven Graffiti: You might want to come up with some amusing dwarven graffiti. This page has some awesome dwarven sayings.

You could probably use:
  • "Evil breeds in the guts of the lazy."
  • "It is easy to fool a goblin, but even easier to kill one."
Descending the Rope: No check!

1. Ledge (page 12): This is all the way at the top of the map on page 13. Giant Rats: MM page 327.

That’s it for today. Thanks!

Dungeons & Dragons - The Hall of Final Fate

Kyrin, Cleric of the Raven Queen
I commissioned artwork of the heroes in this group. I'm waiting on Val to be finished and then we'll have a complete set.
Val couldn't make it today, so I got Jesse to jump in. Jessie plays Bidam in my Planescape campaign.

Crossovers: One of the things I enjoy most in D&D is when I have two separate D&D groups, and one player "crosses over" to the other for one session. For me, it's like having Batman show up in an Avengers movie.

This is one of the things I am looking forward to doing once the youtube shows start. I can spend time and establish the two groups, and then down the road have them meet in some way. I think it will be awesome.

On Saturday, we finished the Chained Coffin. Once it was done, we jumped material from Tales From the Yawning Portal. I got it the other day, and one of the adventures in it is Dead in Thay. I ran that a few years ago and I really liked it. I wasn't able to use all of the rooms I wanted to. Tonight, I got to grab some rooms from the Ooze Gtrotto, and it was pretty awesome.

The Party

Kyrin - Human Cleric of the Raven Queen
Mistletoe - Human Druid
Ramrod - Goliath Barbarian
Bidam - Platinum-Scaled Dragonborn Fighter

So there Bidam was, sailing on the River Styx. In one old Dragon Magazine it says that the Styx has fog that might teleport you to a random plane. So.. there you go. They sail through the fog, Bidam disappears from the ship and appears in the Luhsaal Wheel.

Bidam is 12th level and this group is level 3. I thought about it, and I figured that the best way to balance things was to have Bidam appear without his equipment. All he on had on him was pants. No sword of sharpness, no armor of invulnerability.

The Luhsaal Wheel
Ramrod, Goliath Barbarian

We left off last time with a giant-sized champion of Demogorgon about to attack the group. The spirit in the chained coffin had entered Kyrin's body and grew him so he was 20 feet tall!

There were also minor demons here as well: dretches and a maw demon.

The first thing Kyrin did was to kick Ramrod, because Ramrod had been teasing the chained coffin a lot the last two sessions.

Mistletoe tossed Bidam a dagger and cast spike growth on the demons, decimating them. Ramrod climbed up Kyrin and jumped at Boak, the champion of Demogorgon. He tried to grab the fur on Boak's face, but failed his check! He was able to grab onto Boak's crotch area to stop his fall. He proceeded to pull out his javelin and stab Boak repeatedly in the groin.

Kyrin summoned a gigantic magic scythe and sliced into Boak. The heroes beat down the bad guys pretty badly.

When it was over, ravens came down from the sky. The ravens swarmed the group, teleporting them to the Shadowfell.

The Hall of Final Fate

Vorkhesis, Master of Fate

They found themselves in the Hall of Final Fate, home of Vorkhesis, Master of Fate. The hovering souls of Boak and Zugun were here, too. No sign of Val, who had vanished during the battle.

I love Vorkhesis and I've waited a long time to use him. I plan on making him a big thing in this campaign.

Vorkhesis handles rogue souls for his mother, the Raven Queen. He transformed the soul of Boak into a raven statue, as punishment for his betrayal. He sent Zugun, the spirit who had been trapped in the chained coffin, off to be judged by the Raven Queen.

Once the souls had been dealt with, Vorkhesis examined the heroes with his empty eye sockets. He clearly had a problem with Kyrin, who had been specially blessed by the Raven Queen. She had placed tattoos on his body of people she wanted him to kill.

Vorkhesis demanded to see the tattoos and Kyrin obliged him. The biggest tattoo on Kyrin’s whole body was of Vorkhesis himself. Vorkhesis turned and quaked with rage. His own mother wanted him dead!

He decided to test Kyrin to see if he was really worthy of this honor. Vorkhesis indicated that if Kyrin failed, he would be the new resident of the Chained Coffin.

Vorkhesis explained that villains on a far flung world had abducted priests of the Raven Queen. There was one cleric in particular that needed saving - she was a Grim Censer-Bearer That comes from a 4th edition article that describes different types of agents of the Raven Queen. I LOVE saying "Grim Censer-Bearer" so I plan on using these guys whenever possible.

Vorkhesis raven-teleported the group to a dungeon. Someone lit a torch, and Bidam introduced himself to the heroes. Jessie and I bring out the raunchy humor in each other and I was a little worried that we might offend somebody, but we kept it pretty tame and the group seemed fine with it.

The Ooze Grotto

Mistletoe, Human Druid
The group was in the ooze grotto, a series of ooze-themed dungeon rooms. A massive white pillar of slime was in the center of the room. It issued forth maddening telepathic whispers. The group didn't know that three priests of the Raven Queen had been forced to merge with this thing.

This pillar, known as the White Maw, actually encompasses the whole room. It blocked off the only exit and advanced on the heroes.

They hacked into it and saw that its acidic nature damaged their weapons and armor.

There was a point in this battle where the White Maw engulfed everyone but Kyrin. Bidam and Ramrod’s clothes sizzled off. Mistletoe asked if his did, too. I decided to roll for it.

In general, I go by the Gary Gygax rule - when I don't have an answer for a non-essential question, I roll a die. High is good, low is bad. I rolled to see if Mistletoe's crown of Mistletoe was destroyed. Natural 20! Not only was it intact, it had grown an extra berry!

What about his kilt? I rolled again. NATURAL 20! Misteltoe's kilt was actually cleaned by the White Maw. It would seem that his patron Gwyharwyf herself has blessed his clothing.

Ramrod and Bidam emerged from the pillar butt-naked. Jesse pointed out that Bidam's mighty dong was swinging around.

The White Maw was defeated. The heroes entered the next room, which contained a red ooze pillar. Embedded in it was a guy called the OOZE MASTER. He was behind this whole merge-with-oozes scheme.

The Ooze Master believed that oozes lived forever, and that if he merged with one, he would live forever as well. I think he's right, but he's crazy and evil. He closed in on the adventurers and they kicked the crap out of him. He was heading right for the wall. The group worried that he was going to merge into the wall and get away. They finished him off before that could happen.

The Cat Cube: The next room is actually a combination of two rooms from Dead in Thay. Apprentices were in here, throwing cats into an arch of blades which chopped up the poor cats. The bad guys had been using the cats to perfect the ooze-merging process. Now that they had perfected it, the cats were no longer needed.

The group burst into the room. They noticed giant mirrors on the walls. The acolytes were terrified of the heroes and tried to lie their way out of it. One of them tried to trick the group into getting close to a mirror.

It backfired. The group forced an acolyte to approach a mirror. He reluctantly did so, and a specter reached out of the mirror and killed him.

During all of this, Misteltoe used his ability to talk to animals on the cats. These poor creatures were traumatized. They'd seen terrible things. They told Mistletoe that one cat had actually merged with a gelatinous cube. I call it: The Cat Cube.

The group decided that the cats should get to have street justice on the acolytes. The cats killed the acolytes, but they found that revenge was hollow. It couldn't undo what had been done. But at least they were free!

The heroes moved on, and found the object of their quest - The GRIM CENSER BEARER! She was covered in plate mail and.. engulfed in a big Gelatinous cube.

Nearby was a tiny cube. It turned and looked at the heroes, then at the cube. Mistletoe used shis druidic ability to speak with animals and told the Cat Cube that everything was OK. The cat cube slid over to him and did that cat thing where it rubbed against his legs. The group was worried that he would take acid damage, but it just stung a little. The cat cube is quite weak.

One of the heroes ran up and pulled the grim censer-bearer out of the big cube. The heroes mauled this cube, as it had already been injured by the censer-bearer.

Once it had been destroyed, the Grim Censer-Bearer took off her helmet. She was a beautiful goliath with long, flowing green hair. She looked at Ramrod and Kyrin, smiled, and was about to speak... then the ravens swarmed and drew the heroes back to the Hall Of Final Fate.

Ramrod was really annoyed about that. With a wave of his hand, Vorkhesis sent Bidam back from whence he came.

Vorkhesis prepared to address the adventurers a second time... that's where we stopped.

It was a lot of fun! These groups make me laugh. It makes the games easy to run.

I like how Chris Perkins works character stories into his sessions, something that I've been really bad at historically. I've definitely worked in Kyrin’s story, and I think can handle the others in a similar fashion.

Planescape: Blood War V. The Palace of Flesh and Delights

This image above is a new art commission I got of Bidam. His sword of sharpness is a "buster sword" - it got enlarged during one of their trips to Limbo. I should have a new Theran by next week. I want a piece of art depicting him where his robe of eyes is actually a tracksuit.

Last night in the Planescape campaign, the heroes went to the abyssal realm of Malcanthet, queen of the succubi.

If you look online, you'll see there really isn't that much published information on her. I found three useful sources:
  • Fiendish Codex: This gives a nice overview of everything, especially her realm, Shendilavri.
  • Dragon Magazine 353: This has one of those fantastic James Jacobs articles that pours on the detail and uses all sorts of colorful phrases.
  • Dungeon Magazine #149: I am starting to think that "Enemies of my Enemy" is one of the greatest D&D adventures of all time. In it, the heroes travel the planes recruiting allies to participate in the final battle with Demogorgon. One section deals with Malcanthet, which gave me the most useful actual details that I could use in play.
The Party

(Jessie) Bidam - Platinum-Scaled Dragonborn Fighter
(George) Theran - Elf Wizard  

We had left off last time in the Midnight Isles, the demonic realm of Nocticula, assassin of demon lords.


A pirate ship captained by Minagho, daughter of Baphomet, had attacked the heroes. We had a really cool battle (I love pirates and ships in D&D). I had written out a plan for Minagho, which I need to do in order to run spellcasters effectively. The plan:
  • Round 1: She casts arcane gate and teleports 8 of her "husks" over to the ship of the heroes.
  • Round 2: Cast crown of madness and take control of Bidam (!). That's scary because Bidam does insane piles of damage.
  • Round 3: Use telekinesis to send a hero hurtling overboard into the Styx!
The arcane gate went fine. Bidam made his save against the crown AND he ducked her attempt to telekinetically chuck a thing at Bidam to knock him into the water.

The group had brought a weak NPC with them on this adventure. She is a cow-lady. This freaking cow lady rolls high constantly! Last session, she pounded on some oozes. This time, she cracked a husk in the head and then, she aimed the ballista at Minagho and fired. She rolled a natural 20!

The bolt went right into Minagho's chest and blood poured out of her mouth. The group sailed close. Bidam did the classic "pirate swing onto the enemy ship" maneuver and cut her head off.

Minagho vanished in a puff. The group realized she had a demon amulet and had likely reformed somewhere else in the Abyss. I’m going to be running the Wrath of the Righteous adventure where the heroes will go through Baphomet’s maze, so this is a link to that.

It was an awesome fight. I'm not sure what to do with the cow lady. I should probably give her a new stat block as she'd have 'gained a level' by now.


The group sailed on. The heroes had come to Shendilavri to rescue a devil spy, an incubus named Cavus. It turns out that he was being held in a prison right in Malcanthet's palace.

The heroes sailed the River Styx and came to Rivenheart, the main city of Shendilavri. The heroes were accompanied by Fall From Grace, the succubus paladin who is the granddaughter of Malcanthet.

Rivenheart is a demonic city that succubi bring mortals to. The mortals live a life of debauchery, sometimes for decades. Eventually, they become corrupted, a succubi kills them, and the energy of the slain transfers to Malcanthet and empower her.

There aren't a lot of actual details on Rivenheart, so I had to make a bunch of stuff up. I created a bunch of perverted joke locations because that's how we roll.

Some of the locations:
  • A D&D strip club called the "Museum of Carnal Pleasure."
  • A community pool
  • Sunbathing succubi (using light spells as the "sun")
  • People openly selling mordayan vapor, a 3rd edition drug.
Mordayan Vapor aka "Dreammist": If you ingest the actual leaves/powder you die, as it is too potent. You have to boil it and breathe in the mist. It give you beautiful visions that last for about 30 minutes. When you come down, normal life seems drab and futile in comparison.

Bidam bought some, but did not inhale.

I made a list of the creatures that live in Rivenheart: Succubi, lamias, harpies, cambions, alu-demons, "half-fiend nymphs", and "mortal adulterers".

The mortal adulterers are right out of the James Jacobs article, and as soon as I read it, I envisioned a stat block of a Mortal Adulterer. What kind of powers would they have? "Work late"? "Gaslight”?

I also threw in a wet t-shirt contest because my campaign is really stupid.

Exploring the City

The heroes began to explore the city, and George threw me a curveball. Most of the time he's very straight-laced, but every now and then he kicks it up a notch. I had this married woman, yes - a Mortal Adulterer! - come on to him. He went right along with it. All the way! Shocked, was I.

Her husband, also a Mortal Adulterer, burst into the room and got violent. Theran mage-handed the guy's groin and made a heroic escape.

While Theran was off adulterating, Bidam saw some sunbathing succubi who needed oil. Bidam oiled them up but did not succumb to their feminine wiles. He is loyal to his wife, the demon lord Bazuuma.

The group reunited and realized that they were being followed by a harpy. They accosted her, and found out that the harpy was actually an angel of love in disguise.

Her name: Bella Pureheart. "Of course it is," said George.

I have this whole complicated storyline going involving the angel being a spy trying to do good. Fall From Grace was actually imprisoned here a while back and the angel helped break her out.

The angel of love said she would watch their backs. The group headed to Malcanthet's home: The Palace of Flesh and Delight.

The Palace of Flesh and Delight

Malcanthet, Demon Queen of Succubi

All are welcome here, especially mortals. They're like lambs to the slaughter. As the group quietly made their way through the place, they spotted some goings-on right out of the James Jacobs article:
A succubus kissed a half-elf, whose hair turned gray as he shriveled up and died. In another area, three cambions were putting the moves on an elf.

The adventurers tried to creep by Malcanthet's throne room, but a succubus spotted them and charmed Bidam. Theran tried to give Bidam another chance to make the saving throw by punching him.

Violence is forbidden here without Malcanthet's express written consent. As soon as the punch was thrown, they were noticed.

Malcanthet's throne room:
  • Malcanthet reclines on a divan made of caressing human arms and hands.
  • All around her are demons and mortals getting to know each other better.
  • Three succubi and a dozen vrocks were actually eating people among the throng.
Malcanthet beckoned to the heroes.

As the group awkwardly stepped over the naked people, succubi grabbed at their legs. One was able to give Bidam a kiss, doing a cool 32 points of damage to him.

Malcanthet summoned elevated chairs made of hands and arms for them to sit on.

This scene is right out of Dungeon Magazine 149. She has all this dialogue and flavor text.

I finally got to reveal something to the players. Long ago, they had an adventure where they explored Grazz't's palace. They didn't know it, but during that scenario they interacted with a spy of Malcanthet.

The spy has been keeping tabs on the group since then. Malcanthet knows all about them. She knows the group works with the devils and assumed they had come to try to free the devil spy.

Malcanthet has special agents known as the Radiant Sisters. There are 13 of them, each of which wears a halo of a different color. In the Dungeon Magazine adventure, Malcanthet asks the group to take out a radiant sister who's been causing her problems.

For my adventure, I had Malcanthet make them a different deal. The group could have the spy if they agreed to steal something from Lilith, the archdevil sort-of consort to Baalzebul.

Origin of Malcanthet: Malcanthet and Lilith hate each other. Back when they were angels, Asmodeus got them to join his rebellion by giving them the impression that one of them would be his consort. They joined him, and neither one of them became his consort. He chose Bensozia instead.

Both angels were extremely bitter. Lilith ended up embracing apathy and lived in the Nine Hells with the vile devil/slug, Baalzebul.

Malcanthet ended up going to the Abyss, becoming a demon and getting involved in the War of Ripe Flesh, a vicious battle among the succubi to determine who would be the succubus queen. Malcanthet won.

In my campaign, the Pathfinder demon lord Nocticula is gunning for Malcanthet, but that hasn't really come into play yet.

The group makes the deal. To seal it, they had to do something out of the Dungeon Magazine adventure. Bidam had to kiss her. Theran can't do it because as an elf, he's immune to charm. Bidam took 64 points of damage! He almost died.

Malcanthet's symbol appeared as a tattoo on his scales. With it, Malcanthet can scry on him and telepathically communicate with him. She will use this to instruct the group on what to do when they visit Lilith in hell.

The Prison

They go down into the prison and gawk at the other prisoners I made up - joke NPCs who did gross things to get arrested.

They saw their devil spy, the incubus Cavus. A radiant sister was in the cell with him, trying to convince him to defect to the side of the demons.

There was one other cell. In it was Red Shroud, mother of Fall From Grace. About 15 sessions ago, she had attempted to assassinate Bazuuma and my Donald Trump NPC, but failed. She's being punished for her failure.

Fall From Grace insisted that her mother be saved. Bidam pointed out that Red Shroud was evil (she had actually sold Fall From Grace as a baby to the devils!). Fall From Grace is lawful good and couldn't bear to see her mother in chains.

So the group ended up fighting the radiant sister, who is a lilitu. I made lilitu stats. I need to fix them, as the damage is way too low. It should be 9 instead of 5.

The radiant sister is a bit different from a normal lilitu. She's a demon, she has a halo that can blind a target, and she has a magic heart-shaped container that she can hold a prisoner in.

The heroes kicked the crap out of her. A few sessions back, they got pummeled by one vrock, so I assumed this would be difficult. It was not! Bidam teed off with his sword of sharpness and then Theran disintegrated her.

The radiant sister was reduced to a pile of ash. Her halo hit the ground. When one radiant sister is slain, another lillitu can take the halo and replace the dead one.

The group decided to take it. They're going to bring it to Sigil and destroy it.

The heroes escaped with the spy and Red Shroud, who was semi-conscious.

Very good session!

Next time, they'll recover in Sigil and then lead the devil army in a charge to fully take Lamashtu's demonic realm of Onstrakkar's Nest.

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Dice, Camera, Action: Episode 40 - Storm King's Thunder

Episode 40: Big Yak Attack
As we get ready to start, the players warn us that Chris has been smiling to himself and seems especially mischievous today.

Don't forget that the new adventure, Tales From the Yawning Portal, comes out in a few days. I imagine we'll see the crew do some stuff from that book. I would love to witness the Waffle Crew going through the Tomb of Horrors.

The Party

(Anna) Evelyn - Human Paladin of Lathander
(ProJared) Diath - Human Rogue
(Joe) Harshnag - Frost Giant
(Nathan) Paultin - Human Bard
(Holly) Strix - Tiefling Sorcerer

Chris sums up the story: Harshnag the frost giant led the party to the Icespire mountains. The heroes went up a staircase carved into a mountainside. They fought a chimera aka a Snorse (somebody made Snorse art, awesome) Between the group and the fire giant lair was a village of yikaria aka yakfolk.

The group tried to sneak through the yakfolk village by having Harshnag and Krak make a distraction. As they were about to cross the village, they saw two yakfolk beating slaves to death. Plans have changed! The group springs into action.

Strix drops a fireball on the bad guys and then she teleports onto a roof, but it's made of straw! he falls through the roof with Waffles, the baby owlbear, and lands in a pile of baskets. She’s in the chief’s hut.

Paultin gets hit by some arrows. A yak tries to hit Diath with some sort of banishment spell but he makes his save.

A yakfolk summons an earth elemental... yikes. It's coming for Diath.

Meanwhile, in the hut, Strix sees three naked elves. There are two males and one female. The males help her up. Jared points out that everything is coming up Strix.

The female elf, Halani, asks if she's come to rescue them. Strix says yes. Stirx decides to give them a task. She wants them to put on some clothes and go set some fires.

Chris refers to the yikaria bad guys as "Beef men" which cracks me up. Paultin casts crown of madness on the chief and it works! The chief turns against the other yakfolk.

Harshnag throws a spear at the water wheel. Natural 20! The wheel collapses and falls down the mountain, making a lot of noise. This is a whole thing in the published adventure.

Strix climbs out of the hut and.. falls again. She's outside. She fires a magic missile that kills one of the yakpeople.

The earth elemental melds into the ground. The group gets real nervous.

A yakfolk summons a floating weapon which begins to pound on Strix. The group is quite dismayed at the excessive spellcasting on display here.

Wow.. Paultin uses thunderwave to send SEVEN yakfolk falling over the cliff to their doom. Only the chief made his save.. and his crown of madness is gone.

Strix dispels the hovering magic weapon. The yakfolk caster shakes her fist ruefully at Strix. Suddenly, the earth elemental pops up out of the ground next to her. It pummels Strix and drops her. Poor little Waffles runs! He's running toward Paultin.

The priestess summons another spiritual weapon. It appears above Paultin. He’s got problems, because the chief draws his greatsword, which magically bursts into flame! Paultin takes a total of 35 points of damage! He's down.

Paultin had earlier tasked Simon with killing him some yaks. When he sees Paultin go down, he defies the orders and rushes over to him. Simon fires off a dart that kills the chief!

Evelyn casts command on the priestess and Anna tells her to FLEE in a way that makes me laugh. Priestess rolls a one on her save.

Diath spots some halflings wearing nothing more than grass skirts. Diath yells at them to beat up the priestess. They do so and are quite effective.

The earth elemental comes after Simon. The group is freaking out, except for Jared, who hates him. Simon gets squashed! Wow. Jared can't stop laughing. The other players are severely distressed.

Harshnag’s giant bird had grabbed Paultin and is flying him around, keeping him out of harm’s way. Paultin actually rolls a 20 on his death save and immediately awakens with one hit point. He sees that Simon has literally been crushed.

Diath drops the priestess. The group is very displeased to see that the earth elemental did not vanish when she died.

The elemental beats on Harshnag. He goes down! As he drops, Harshnag tries to grab the elemental and throw it over the side.. but in the struggle, both of them fall over the side and vanish into the waterfall chasm.

Paultin investigates the remains of Simon. Is Simon salvageable? He rolls an intelligence check. Natural one. He thinks Simon is gone forever. Paultin angrily mutters, "Diath will pay for this."

Poor Strix is still dying while the group gawks at Murderbot's remains.

Fight is over. Evelyn heals Strix. Paultin yells at Diath and asks him if he thinks it's funny. That's where we stop.

Nate won't be here next week. Jared laughs and says he might just take the remains of Murderbot and get rid of the evil mannequin for good.


Good show as always! This was one long battle but it never dragged. Things were constantly happening and it was funny the whole way through.

Are their characters going all the way to 20th level? I hope so. I know a lot of groups never get that high, I think it would be very cool to see. Strix will have so many awesome spells, it boggles the mind.

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Dungeons & Dragons - Wyrmsmere by Chris Perkins

Wyrmsmere is an old 2nd edition Chris Perkins adventure from the Dragon Magazine Annual 1996. It is only 9 pages long and was very easy to prepare.

I heavily modified it. As written, Wyrmsmere is about how a band of NPC adventurers has gone bad. I changed it so that Wyrmsmere Castle is the home of a green dragon that the group needs to deal with. The NPC adventurers are victims in my version, not bad guys.

Prior to the game, I sent the group some maps. The castle map is one of those old isometric deals.

If you look at the map of the surrounding land, you might notice little islands below the castle. If the group goes there first, they theoretically will skip to the end of the adventure.

That always gives me the creeps. You DMs might say to yourself, "They probably won't notice it." But players always do things you don't expect! In these cases, I just remove any mention of the place I'm worried they will go to, and I might even just physically move it somewhere else in the region, too.

The thing about that is sometimes, if you leave it, you end up with a fun session and no harm done. It's a tough choice to make.

Zavagor couldn't make it this week so I whipped up a way to get him out of the forest.

The Key Ring

(Andrew) Finy Teetoe - Halfling Rogue
(Pat) Gurn Sirensong - Gnome Bard
(Ashley) Lemuel - Human Rogue
(Joe) Zavagor - Half-orc Warlock

The heroes had just summoned an angel of love and drove off Toxin, the green dragon. I immediately started running Aurora as someone who really wants to spread love and friendship throughout the land.

The group headed to Wyrmsmere Castle. It was on an island in a lake about 200 feet from the shore.

The heroes smartly scanned the water and spotted creatures swimming around in there. They got Aurora, the angel of love, to fly them over the water and successfully avoided the creatures.

Before the group tried to enter the castle, Aurora said that the heroes should  express their warm love and fondness for each other. Finy did so reluctantly. Gurn created an illusion of himself saying it, which cracked me up.

The heroes decided to climb up to the roof with rope and a grappling hook. All but Lemuel had made it to the roof when the doors of the castle burst open. Vegepygmies poured out, looking quite ready to murder.

Lemuel was on the rope halfway up. The vegepygmies threw spears at the poor guy and he took a bit of damage.

Lemuel scrambled up the rope to the roof. The vegepygmies ran back inside the castle and up a stairwell that led up to where the heroes were.

On the roof, there was a little shack with a door that lead to the stairwell. Finy heard the bad guys coming up and he quickly rigged up a trap so that his explosive bottle of dragon's breath (made from the remains of the flame dragon) would fall and explode.

It worked! Two mold men were completely incinerated.

The others came up the stairs moments later and a massive battle was had. The group was having problems, because the vegepygmies kept regenerating. A hero would drop one, and it would just get up the next round.

Lemuel realized that fire was the key to killing them for real and spread the word. One mold man got set on fire and Finy tried to dump oil on it, but he ended up pouring some on his leg. His pants caught fire!

Thinking quickly, the angel of love swooped down, took off his pants and threw them off the roof.  Finy spent a lot of the rest of the session questing for pants.

The mold men were slain. Lemuel was hurt badly. The angel of love got to use one of her powers: Chaste Kiss. She kisses you on the forehead and you heal 32 points plus other stuff.

The angels of love are from a 4e ecology of the succubus article. They are what the succubi were before they turned to evil. I love the idea of goody-two shoes love-spreaders, so I actually statted them up for 5e. They're basically a good version of a succubus with some converted 4e powers thrown in. Here it is:

The group commenced with exploring the castle.

Wyrmsmere Castle is odd. There's almost nothing in it. I think that if you write an adventure with a location like this, don't break up the rooms into many smaller entries. Just do one entry for the whole floor and note the three things that are in it.

The group came upon Pellerax, the wizard who had apparently stolen the potions of green dragon control. Now he was hurt badly, partly covered in mold, barely breathing.

The angel of love used her chaste kiss to heal him of his condition. Pellerax explained that the doppleganger Skargle was here, and that he'd used russet mold on him. Russet mold turns you into a vegepygmy. It's in Volo's Guide to Monsters, page 196.

Pellerax told the group the deal: The NPC adventurers stole the potions of green dragon control to try to defeat Toxin, the dragon who is plaguing the city. The group stole the potions from Aryzon (who is secretly a silver dragon) because they mistook his mysterious "wink, wink" nature as an indication of evil, not good. They thought he might be a secret ally of Toxin.

After some more searching, the group went down into the cellar. Pellerax said that he believed there was a tunnel there that lead to Toxin's lair.

In the cellar was a well and a halfling, who was a member of Pellerax's party. They'd gotten split up while battling a horde of mold men before the heroes arrived.

The halfling, Lucky, was lowering a rope into the well. The well was empty and the tunnel was at the bottom of it. After some chatting, Lucky urged the group to climb down. Lemuel began to climb, as did Pellerax. Finy and Gurn stopped... something was off.

They thought Lucky was a little too insistent on going last. They started to question him and Luck got nervous. The jig was up. The halfling suddenly grew and transformed. His pants exploded like the hulk. Lucky was quite upset, because he really could have used those pants.

Lucky revealed that he was actually Skargle the doppelganger.

Skargle CUT THE ROPE. Pellerax fell 100 feet and splatted in the tunnel. Lemuel made his save and grabbed onto a rock that was jutting out of the wall. He was hanging there, about 20 feet from the top of the well.

I think Lemuel climbed out of the well on his first or second turn.

The battle commenced. Skargle smashed a jar on the ground and a spore cloud enveloped the heroes. Russet mold!

They had to save every round, or be poisoned and take damage. If they died from it, they'd become vegepygmies in 24 hours.

A few of the heroes failed their saves, but shook the poison off after a few rounds. They stabbed Skargle a few times and then Finy shoved him into the well!

Skargle grabbed onto the side of the wall in the well. Finy dumped oil on Skargle and lit him on fire. Poor Skargle. He died, but his death grip kept him right where was, hanging on the side of the well.

The group climbed down the well into the tunnel. They saw that poor Pellerax was 100% dead. They headed down a slippery, muddy slope for a few hundred feet. They came upon a room with a pool of water. On the wall, somebody had scrawled "Beware the fish."

The adventurers saw no creatures or fish in the water at all. They cautiously swam in the water to the exit on the other side of the room. Nothing happened.

The group came to a split. There were three tunnels heading off into three different directions. They took the left one, which led them to an extremely dark cave. Finy cautiously lit his lantern and crept ever so slowly into the cave. Lemuel followed.

The room lit up. The walls of the cave were lined with... Russet mold! That's where we stopped.

I'm not sure if I can convey it in writing, but this might have been my favorite session so far. The players had me laughing for the better part of two hours. The exploding pants, the illusions of hugs, their banter with the angel, it was hilarious.

We should wrap up this adventure next week!

Monday, March 20, 2017

Planescape - Blood War IV. Sailing the River Styx

I had read an article in an old issue of Dragon Magazine that detailed what sailing through the outer planes on the River Styx would be like. I really liked it, so I based tonight's session on it.

I also worked in material from Wrath of the Righteous. I will be pulling stuff out of there for a long time.

Parental Advisory: This is one of my more perverted sessions, so you might want to skip this if that's not your thing. I'll try to keep it clean but there's really no way to describe a penis cannon in polite company.

The Party

(Jessie) Bidam - Platinum-Scaled Dragonborn Fighter
(George) Theran - Elf Wizard 

The heroes own a cluster of buildings in Sigil called Deadbook Square.

We started off dealing with downtime. For whatever reason, this downtime stuff is always the best part of my sessions. It's always been like that since I was a kid and I don't know why.

The heroes had hired an ogre to work at their festhall last session. They decided to bring the ogre over to Bidam's little procreation farm in the abyssal realm of Azzagrat.

The ogre made some babies with Mother of All, the monster-woman who launches eggs and babies at people. Each session, I'm trying to use this as a way to introduce new types of demons.

This past week I got a piece of art from an artist who doesn't speak much english. I had asked for a corruption devil, but got this:

That's not a corruption devil, but I liked it, so I took it. This week, that's the creature that came out of Mother of All. It has a monocle that is fiery, apparently.

Alternative Facts: Then the heroes checked in on Theran's settlement, the earthmote-city/citadel of Tornbend. They learned that my Donald Trump NPC ("Gonard Flumph") had sent two imps to spread FAKE NEWS.

The populace was freaking out over rumors that there was a pedophile ring in the basement of the nursery where Grazz't's babies are kept. Theran disproved this by pointing out that there is no basement in the nursery.

The sexy devil nurse lady had been beaten by the citizens quite badly. Theran found the imps and blew them away with spells. To his dismay, he saw them disperse into clouds of brimstone. He had forgotten that devils only truly die when they are slain in hell.

Azzagrat is a demon realm, but there are some devils there because Grazz't is trying to actually unite the demons and devils into one massive army.

Theran patched up the nurse and they ended up entering into "activities of passion", as they say in second edition.

Beast Pox: Bidam went home to Sigil. The group had helped one of their employees, Floozy St. Assland, with a problem a while back. The adventurers had paid to cure Floozy’s parents of a disease called Slimy Doom.

Now that she’d saved up some money, Floozy bought her cursed parents a home in the Clerk's Ward and got herself a dumpy little apartment in the extremely smoggy section of the Lower Ward.

She was excited because she discovered that a portal was in there. She wanted Bidam to help her go into it and check it out in case it was dangerous.

The key to this portal is to hold hands. So, they held hands and stepped through. It lead to the Beastlands, a place the heroes had gone way back in the Great Modron March. They emerged right near the mortai (cloud with a face in it that blows wind). The mortai's name is Breath of Life, and he said hello in a booming voice.

When you stay in the Beastlands for a little while, you get Beast Pox. You start to gain some physical features of the animal that best represents your soul. Bidam is a pit bull. Floozy is a peacock! She got all shiny and had a massive peacock plume/wings growing out of her back.

Every session I give Bidam a choice. Until recently, Bidam was quite the ladies' man. But now he has two dragon-kids with the demon lord Bazuuma. He has this ring that gives him an emotional link to her.

So every session a lady comes on to Bidam, and then Bidam senses Bazuuma's positivity and thoughts through the ring and he must CHOOSE. Every single time he picks Bazuuma.
  • Family Time: He bid Floozy adieu and went to Bazuuma's abyssal realm. I had made up a whole bunch of demonic "family activities":
  • Demon Whale-Watching: The ancient whale demon lord, Bechard, shot blood and gore into the air through his mighty blowhole.
  • Breathing Breath: He taught Pyranica, his dragon wyrmling daughter, how to breathe her breath weapon.
  • Bedtime: Then he tucked them in and read them a bedtime story: "The Cat and the Cranium Rat" by Dr. Deuce. Obviously this is a dumb Dr. Seuss joke. This joke was much more well-received than I expected and the group was disappointed that I hadn't made up any lines from the book. I might do that for next week.
  • Blanket of Positivity: Then Bazuuma and Bidam spooned. Bazuuma has positive energy flowing through her. This spooning gave Bidam overhealing like he got when he went to the actual plane of positive energy. In this case, I declared he had 50 temporary hit points that would fade in 24 hours if they were not whittled down before then.
Rescue Mission: Next day, the group had a special mission to embark upon. The heroes work with the devil army. During a battle on the infinite staircase, many devil soldiers fell off the side of the stairs and landed in random planes.

One devil who fell was a spy named Cavus. Using magic, the devils determined that Cavus had fallen into the abyss and was currently a prisoner of Malcanthet, the Succubus Queen.

This was not good, because the demons would probably torture him and learn all sorts of devil secrets that might hinder their efforts in the Blood War.

The heroes have a magic pirate ship crewed by a skeleton pirate named Captain Ricketshanks. It has an orrery of the planes on it, it can fly like a spelljammer, and the group can summon it and dismiss it with their magic whalebone scrimshaw.

The heroes grabbed some NPCs to crew the ship:
  • Acolytes of a good goddess. These acolytes were members of a tribe that the heroes rescued during the Nemesis adventure.
  • Fall From Grace, the group's trusty succubus paladin friend.
  • Bovina the cow lady. She's a lady minotaur, basically. Bovina is an NPC that I haven't used in a while and I thought that she'd ask to come just so we could put her in the spotlight a little bit.
The group used a portal to get to the River Styx through the plane of the Gray Waste. They sailed through magic fog which shifted them to the Abyss. The first layer they entered was Thanatos, Orcus' realm.


Terendelev the Ravener
In my campaign, Orcus is dead and the Pathfinder demon lord Lamashtu has taken it over. This place is what the devil army wants to overtake and claim for themselves. Secretly, the pit fiend general Drokkarn wants to rule it and become a demon lord himself. The idea is that this whole Blood War thing will culminate with the group fighting Lamashtu herself.

I busted out the extreme cold rules and the crew began gaining levels of exhaustion. There were chunks of Styx-ice in the water big enough to block the ship. Bidam used his breath weapon to melt them.

The group spotted ruins on the shore connected to Orcs. Since Bidam has a connection with Orcus (aka "Tenebrous"), they decided to check it out. It was home to an agent of Orcus - an undead dragon named Terendelev, from Wrath of the Righteous.

The thing I like most about her is that she's actually the corrupted undead remains of a good-aligned silver dragon..

The group made friends with her and she will be an ally for when the heroes and the devils try to overtake Thanatos down the road.


The heroes sailed through the mist and appeared in Shedaklah, the home of both Zuggtmoy (demon queen of fungi) and Juiblex (demon lord of oozes).

The thing I like most about this is that the Styx is the border between the two domains. So on the left of the ship was a misty mushroom forest. On the right were fields of burbling slime pits.

The ship ended up sailing into what they thought was mist but was instead a spore cloud. The heroes made their saving throws, but the crew did not. They acolytes began to hallucinate, thinking that everyone else had "slime cysts" that oozes were erupting out of.

During the chaos, three creatures crept onto the ship: A gray ooze, an ochre jelly and a black pudding.

We had ourselves a combat. A lot of it was centered around the group trying to figure out what would hurt the different types of oozes. Bidam was in a bind, because the oozes are immune to slashing damage and when hit with slashing, they split into two.

The heroes ended up using chromatic orb spells to take out the oozes. During the battle, a few acolytes died.

Bovina the cow lady bravely took a mace and rolled really well through the whole encounter. The heroes were impressed!


Sister Perversion
Sailing on, the group came to Goranthis, the abyssal realm of Socothbenoth. I had thought that Socothbenoth was a Pathfinder creation but it turns out he was actually in a few D&D products first. I just combined the lore of both versions.

It actually says in the Dragon Magazine article that there are "pornographic waterfalls" here, because Socothbenoth is a demon lord of adult activities.

So that meant I was obligated to figure out what exactly pornographic waterfalls were. I concocted a series of challenges based on different types of genitalia. The best one was these penis cannons that shot sticky globs of webbing. Bidam had an awesome idea - use ice spells to freeze the cannons which obviously forces them to shrivel up due to the cold. Well done, adventurer!

On the shore, they spotted a brothel. This location is right out of Wrath of the Righteous. In that path, the group comes to the brothel to obtain a magic item. In this, I just figured the group might want to make a deal with them and expand their business empire.

The brothel is full of stuff I found amusing. The succubi and incubi who work there are known as "The Pleasers". Here's some of them:
  • Ismarelda: A dark-skinned contortionist.
  • Micajah: An androgynous red-skinned male with black, feathered wings.
  • Mahulda: A lavender-skinned soft-spoken hermaphrodite.
There's only 4 customers. I worked out a storyline where the brothel is struggling. I mean, you're in a plane of perversion, you probably don't have to pay for this kind of thing.

The group met with the owner of this place... SISTER PERVERSION. The names just crack me up. In the adventure, she's a type of Pathfinder monster known as a "seraptis demon." They are basically suicide-themed monsters.

I don't want suicide demons in my game, so I changed their gimmick. Now, the seraptis demons just want to hug you with their four arms and never let go.

The group made a deal with her. The heroes are going to set up a teleportation circle in Sigil to send the demons customers and share the profits.

This brothel uses souls as currency. So the heroes are going to go into the hive, find some evil scumbags (the hive is full of them) and send them and their souls to THE PLEASERS.

The Midnight Isles

Minagho, daughter of Baphomet

They sailed on and entered into The Midnight Isles, another Pathfinder location. The Midnight Isles are the home plane of Nocticula, a Pathfinder demon lord of succubi and assassins.

Each isle represents one of the twenty demon lords that Nocticula has assassinated.

The group was sailing along quite nicely when an evil pirate ship came into view. Its captain was Minagho, a daughter of the demon lord of minotaurs, Baphomet.

Minagho has a really cool backstory. She failed her father, and he has cursed her to be constantly in pain. She's trying to win back his favor to remove her curse.

We ran out of time, so that's where we stopped. Next session, we'll do this battle, and then the group will have to somehow rescue a prisoner from the palace of the Queen of the Succubi, Malcanthet.

Thursday, March 16, 2017

Binwin's Minions - PAX South 2017

You can listen to this on soundcloud.

It’s only an hour long and it is good.

There's an online Binwin's Minions comic here.

This game was held a few months ago. Scott Kurtz, who played Binwin on Acquisitions Incorporated, has left to do his own show. Binwin’s Minions will be released as a pen and paper RPG product, and the plan is to make other things like video games out of it, too.

There weren’t any formal introductions. The Dungeon Master is Chris Perkins. Three of the players are Scott Kurtz (Binwin), Tavis Maiden and Bill Roper. There are two other players whose names I can’t find..

Binwin is 7th level, and the minions (the other characters) seem to be like 4e minions: They have one hit point.

The Story: Binwin’s mother gave him a dwarven queststone. The queststones are ancient dwarven stones that contain the soul of a dwarven adventurer. The stone chooses a dwarven warrior to continue questing so that the dwarf spirit can live vicariously through the bearer. The stones can bring people back to life.

So basically, the heroes go through a deadly dungeon. They die a lot, but they’re brought back to life almost immediately. It seems like the stone doesn’t raise the dead until whatever room the group is in has been completed.

Binwin has a map to a place called Keep Ikillya in the Dessarin Valley. The keep is in ruins but the dungeon below is intact.

The Party: Binwin is bringing along 4 minions: Thief, Druid, Wizard, Warrior.

The heroes arrive at the keep. They spot a hole in the wall with a staircase leading down. The queststone in hand, Binwin shoves the druid toward the stairs.

The d20 Room

At the bottom of the stairs is a long hallway. There's a yellow gem that glows faintly. There's a lever near it in the up position and a ramp sloping down. There's a message scrawled in the back wall in dwarvish.

The druid is all alone. She decides to.. pull the lever! Wow. There's a yellow flash of light and silence... the rest of the group calls to her. No response.

Binwin pushes the warrior in. The thief quietly follows behind him.

They go down and see a stone d20. The writing on the wall says: "The odds are good that even you will die." He grabs the d20 and rolls it down a ramp.

I think the druid was polymorphed into the die. Chris asks the druid to roll a d20. It's even. Crunching sound. Warrior is dead. So when the heroes roll the stone d20, an even number means they die.

The thief pulls the lever. Flashes of light. Silence. Binwin is at the top. He takes the wizard and they go down. They see two stone dice on the floor.

There's a huge stone hammer floating at the bottom of the ramp. Each of them picks up a die and rolls. It is confirmed that the warrior and rogue have each become one of the dice. They both roll. One odd, one even. The guy who rolled even has a power called "roll backwards." He rolls again and gets odds.

The magic hammer apparently has been crushing killing those who roll even. Binwin pushes the wizard down the ramp. The hammer smashes him to a pulp.

Binwin slides down the ramp. The mallet pounds on his head and he takes 20 points of damage.

At the bottom of the ramp is a door of blue stone. Binwin's the only person left, so he goes to bash it open. Strength check, he rolls a 20! He smashes the door open.

The two dice turn back into the warrior and the rogue. Binwin uses the quest stone to bring the others back to life.

The Costume Room

Beyond the door is a long hallway. There's a row of TEN pulsating yellow gems embedded in the ceiling. There are a few side rooms containing kobold masks, bat costumes, windup metal rats, and a suit of dwarven armor covered in mirrors. There is also a carrion crawler carcass.

Binwin puts on the mirror armor. The wizard puts on the bat costume. Binwin winds up a rat and sends it down the hallway toward the yellow gems. Yellow-colored lasers shoot from the gems. Four miss, one hits and destroys the mouse.

A hero puts on the carrion crawler carcass, thinking it might offer laser protection. One character looks up the carrion crawler in hi monster manual, which his character actually has. He learns that they feed on waste and can walk on walls and ceilings. 

The carcass is heavy. All of the minions get in it. Human centipede jokes flying left and right. While in the carcass, the group can actually walk on the walls. They climb across the ceiling and apply green paint to the gems. They paint all of the gems with green paint, which stops them from firing lasers.

Room cleared! Blue stone door. Binwin takes off the mirror armor. I wonder if that armor would have reflected the lasers at his allies. That would have been fun to see.

The Puzzle Room

Binwin bashes the door open. 4 statues of dwarves with levers near them. It’s a puzzle that the crowd figures out right away. Binwin takes their advice and pulls the correct lever. A staircase forms in the floor, leading down.

The Stone Roller Room and the Huge Dwarven Face

Binwin pushes the warrior down the stairs. Down below is a hallway block by a massive, turning stone roller. Carved into the roller are humanoid shapes. Wow, are they going to have to jump in and ride through.

Binwin wonders how he's going to fill these holes.

The thief has an ability: Disarm traps slowly. He decides to try it. The thief jams his crowbar into the side.. the crowbar snaps. A piece of the crowbar flies into the wizard's skull and kills him. The druid is covered in gore and fluids.

The druid tries to jump into one of the holes. She rolls bad... she gets squashed and the roller is covered in druid blood.

The warrior jumps into a hole... rolls a 20! Gets through. On the other side is the room with a huge, stone dwarven hear. The dwarf’s beard carpets most of the room. There are more yellow gems in alcoves. In the alcoves are treasure chests overflowing with gold.

The warrior tests the beard by dropping something on it. The stone dwarf’s mouth opens and lets out a mighty belch of methane gas. A blast of flame consumes the warrior.

The thief tries to go through the roller. Rolls a 12. Dead! Gore.. his green paint splatters everywhere.

Binwin is all alone. He doesn't want to go in, but he's going to have to. He rolls... 16! He makes it through the roller. What would happen if Binwin died? He has the stone and everyone would be dead. Maybe the stone would raise all of them.

Once he is safely through, Binwin uses the quest stone to resurrect the minions.

The wizard realizes that he has color spray, which probably can nullify the gems.

Binwin throws the wizard over the beard. In mid-air he casts color spray at two of the gems. The spell indeed disrupts their power. The gem and the treasure disappear. The treasure is illusory.

Binwin throws the druid to the other side. She lands safely. She throws her fetching stick toward a treasure chest. It is disintegrated. The druid finds a hidden lever.

She pulls it. A thunking sound comes from the stone head. A stone comes tumbling out of the dwarf's nose. It rolls to Binwin's feet. It is a new quest stone.

The group is dismayed to find out that's all they got. Binwin is pleased. That’s the end!


This was a very fun show, nice and short but a lot of stuff got done. I didn’t really get a sense of what the other players are like. Scott was very into it, and that made it a good listen.

I've always loved deathtrap dungeons, especially as a player. The problem has always been that my fellow players hate them. I have literally had players refuse to even try a deathtrap dungeon, even after much cajoling.

So I really like this show and I would love to run this dungeon.