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Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Acquisitions Incorporated: The Series - Episode 3

We've had two sessions of planning so far. Tonight we're busting into the dwarven vault to snatch a piece of the rod of seven parts! I think this is going to be really great.

Random Thought: I think it would be really cool if they made a few animated clips showing the best parts of this adventure once the season is over.

The Party

(Jerry) Omin Dran - Half-Elf Cleric
(Mike) Jim Darkmagic - Human Wizard
(Scott) Binwin Bronzebottom - Dwarf Fighter/Barbarian
(Patrick) Viari - Human Rogue

Last Time: The group made a plan to bust into a dwarven fortress and steal a piece of the Rod of Seven Parts. Part of the reason for doing this is to thwart Omin's sister Auspicia, who leads a rival organization known as Dran Enterprises. 

We start off with a bit more planning. Remember, Omin and Viari are pretending to be storing a "treasure" in the vault. That "treasure" is a box containing Jim and Binwin.

We get a look at the map with a room highlighted. Man, the people who make this show are really on the ball.

They look at where Auspicia is on the map. The players talk about blowing up a wall and using a silence spell to cover it up. Or using a stone shape spell.

Binwin and Jim are sick of planning. Me too. Let's do this thing!

Patrick and Jerry plan for a few minutes longer. I think they could do this for four hours. 

Jim and Binwin are in the box that Omin and Viari are putting in the vault. There is a code word that, if spoken, will alert Binwin and Jim to spring out of the box and attack.

The code word: "Whippoorwill."

Jim and Binwin are in the box, farting.

We cut to the group approaching the entrance to Horn Enclave. They see a dwarf in a kilt holding bagpipes.

The owlbear may or may not be pulling their cart. The owlbear makes a weird noise. I never thought about it. What noises do owlbears make?

They should probably just make Patrick Rothfuss the official fourth member of the group, right?

Omin is disguised as Auspicia. Binwin and Jim are in the box. Viari introduces the lady to the kilt-wearing bagpipe tooter.

The ruse works. The dwarf plays a tune. Chris goes out of his way to tell them the name of the song ("Stone Roses"). Maybe Binwin will need to play it later.

After two minutes, the gates open.

In the box, Binwin knows the bagpipe song and sings some of it to Jim:

"Father's Beard
Don't make this weird
I give you a stone rose"

Jim tells him to shut up.

Stone golems pull the doors open. In the hall, the floor is weird. There are all these stone tiles that fit together like a jigsaw puzzle. Dwarves are in the process of putting it together.

They are approached by a dwarf majordomo-type. Viari tells them he's in a hurry. He gives them a barrel of fine dwarven brandy.

Viari kind of likes the look of this dwarf lady and puts on the charm. He also tries to spot a secret door that was on the map, but he can't find the seams.

Mike and Scott repeatedly joke about saying 'Whippoorwill' and bursting out of the box. 

The group is brought to a dwarf named Ironbeard. He's oiling down a giant clockwork death machine. Chris puts a mini on the table. I believe it is a slaughterstone eviscerator.

Viari pulls the majordomo woman aside and flirts with her. She says this automaton was just delivered. She says it will transform their defensive strategy. It's a giant automaton with a lot of blades. Ironbeard is tinkering with it.

Ironbeard gets a look at Omin in disguise and thanks to some good rolls, Omin is able to pass himself off as his sister.

There's a drunk half-elf, Carrington Sway. He's an ally of the real Auspicia. He has a key the group needs. He leers at disguised Omin and starts to sort of hit on "Auspicia" Omin immediately backhands him.

Ironbeard leads them to the vault. Ironbeard and Carrington each need to use a key at the same time to open the vault. Carrington can't find his key. Viari searches him. The key isn't on him.

The group asks to be brought to their room so they can sort Carrington out. Ironbeard turns to a dwarven flunky and says, "Whippoorwill, take them to their rooms."

Code word uttered!

That's where we stop.

  • (10:55) Owlbear noises
  • (22:44) Is it just the two of you?

It was a decent show, nothing earth-shattering. I guess when you break up one session into a bunch of half hour chunks, there's no way for them all to be epic.

Youtubers Want Longer Episodes: I looked at the youtube comments and everyone is demanding for the show to be longer. Personally I like the length. Maybe I'm in the minority. I guess if this was the only D&D show I watched, I would want this to be longer.

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